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So glad some dreams don’t come true

– Posted in: Healthy Recipe Geek, Inspiration, Personal Development
So glad some dreams don’t come true Image

Ok here is one of those life changing for the better stories.

I had life hit me in the face a few weeks ago. Let me give you a little background information:

Back in 1998, I was working as a hairdresser and found myself in need of a new salon move. I reached out to a gentleman that I had met a couple of years earlier. He owned a salon and had space to rent. I moved in. Over the course of the next couple years, we became the best of friends. We did everything together. He was gay, and I was not looking for a relationship at the time. 

Probably a year or so into our friendship, we were talking about families and having kids. We decided that if we hadn’t found that special someone by the time I turned 40, we would get me pregnant and make a family for ourselves.

In 2000, he got a DUI ticket. He had to spend 72 hours in county jail. I dropped him off on a Friday evening and picked him up Monday night. He told me that it was horrible. He didn’t sleep at all the first night and spent the rest of the time cutting everyone’s hair with a rusty old clipper. He explained to me that he would never let himself get into the situation every again.

Well in 2001, I found my now husband. My best friend was the first person that got to meet him. I informed the future husband that he would have to deal with my best friend being gay, that’s how it was going to be and if he didn’t like it, too bad!! (Understand that my now husband is a retired truck driver.)

At this point, I realize now that I should have talked to my best friend more about it then the boyfriend. The best friend got very upset and started acting out. He started hanging with a pretty bad crowd. He began going to seedy gay bars that he otherwise would never have gone. He started drinking excessively, doing illegal drugs, and driving while intoxicated. Drifting away from me and everything that he used to love. His business was suffering, customers were showing up for appointments, and he never showed up, leaving myself and the other hairdressers to pick up the pieces and help his clients, while he was sleeping off the night before’s partying. 

I was worried about him, but he wouldn’t talk to me. For lack of better words, he was acting like a spoiled only child. I guess I should have tried a little harder to reach out to him, but I was living my new life and was trying to make a new life with my now husband work.

In November 2004, we had all but quit talking. I received a call about 2 pm on a Wednesday, from another good friend of his. letting me know that the best friend was involved in a near-fatal accident. He flipped his brand new truck and the seat belt nearly severed his right arm off. He was in the hospital for more than 5-months. I immediately took over the salon and took care of his customers and mine. (I was working at another salon 2-days a week along with his salon 4-days) Now I find myself working both salons and trying to connect with him. I had to break into his home to get to the dogs that needed to be fed and watered. When I got inside his home, I was so shocked that I started crying. He loved his home and had taken such pride in it. Now it looked like a bomb had gone off. He had painted a dark, black painting on one of the kitchen walls. There were trash and bottles everywhere. It smelled horrible. I couldn’t find a clean space of furniture to sit on. It was tragic. 

I only got to the hospital one time; he refused to allow me to come back to the hospital. He looked pretty bad. The pain was great, and they couldn’t give strong pain killers because of the many illegal drugs in his system. He was a horrible mess.

He called me one evening and informed me that he did not need or want me to do anything for him anymore if I was going to continue down the road I was choosing. I was now seeing the true man; he was not someone who I wanted any part. 

I moved out of his salon and moved to another one. He broke all ties with me and told anyone that he could find that I was demanding he change, that he should do this and that. Which of course was not true. I was truly sad for losing his friendship, but I also realized that the friendship that I thought I had with him was not a good friendship.

I had kept in social contact with a couple of mutual friends. They would keep in contact with what he was doing and how he was. I ran into him and a friend back in 2010, at Home Depot. He was polite, shook hands with me using the hand and arm from the accident. He seemed to be the old him.

I tried to friend him back into 2014; he accepted then deleted me.

Now to the current time frame. A couple of weeks ago I was scrolling through Facebook. I saw an article from one of the new channels about a hit and run accident. They showed pictures of the vehicle and a video surveillance of the suspect. I didn’t really look at it. The victim was taken to the hospital with life-threatening injuries but was downgraded that he should survive.

The next evening, I saw the shock of my life. My former best friend picture on the screen, saying that he was the person that hit the bicycle and then fled the scene. His driver license picture showed a man who was so messed up that he didn’t even look like him.  He actually looked like he was drunk or stoned. I read some of the comments on the story, and my first thought was to be angry at the words that were being spoken. Then I realized that these words were correct and true. How sad such a promising life, destroyed.

The police released the information that they had. He had hit the bicyclist and then drove down the street to the neighborhood grocery store and went shopping. He is being held in the county jail on a $100,000.00 bond. 

It’s funny and sad how life plays out. I could have been in the middle of all this drama that he had wrapped himself in. I hear people all the time say that only the dreams that come true are the ones that we need to come true in our lives. I guess it’s true in this instance. I could not see where my life would be if I had taken his path. 

I have learned that in this life you have to always think about decisions you make and if you can live with the future from the decision. I truly believe that personal development that I listen/read every day, has given me the new mindset to look ahead 10-years instead of just living in the moment. Don’t get me wrong, my life is not without heartache and pain, but this life is a much better life then what it could be. 

Don’t think that I put myself above him, I am never any better than anyone else. We all have to live our lives to the best of our ability, grow from each experience, and not look back with regret. Never regret your choices.

I know that this story does not have anything to do with health or nutrition unless you think about how better my health is now versus what it could have been, but I want to show the human side of my life outside of being the HEALTHY RECIPE GEEK.

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